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By Abigail Trafford, the
Felicity Wright, 56, left
a $70,000-a-year job to go to seminary and become a minister. She managed
by borrowing against a life insurance policy and taking money out of her
retirement savings. She chalked up about $55,000 in student loans. She
lived in a dorm on about $400 a month. She shed her possessions
-- selling her grandparents' piano and giving away her books. But she held
on to her house in And why would a person
take so much financial risk? "It was so clear I
had to do what I was doing," she says. Last month, Wright
achieved her goal. She became the pastor of Most people don't have
such a bold plan when they look ahead to the bonus years. Nor are they
willing to downsize to the extent that Wright has done. But her story
illustrates the reshuffling of priorities in My Time. Finding a purpose --
engaging in meaningful work -- often takes precedence over simply making
money. By the time you get to
these bonus decades, financial pressures may have eased, especially if
your children are grown. This opens up opportunities in the not-for-profit
arena of the creative arts and community service. It enables you to ask
the question: What do I really want to do in these bonus years? When Wright decided to
become a minister, the timing was right. Her youngest child had reached
18. She was divorced and living on her own. She had proved that she could
earn a good salary. But some people didn't
understand her choice -- how could a single fifty-something woman throw
over a good job and create so much turmoil for herself? "I didn't
have an answer. Except that at a certain point, you can't live with
yourself. You are too miserable," she says. For Wright, the ministry
is a calling. "The call doesn't go away," she says. "It
doesn't have to do with finances. It does have to do with courage. It does
have to do with taking time and taking stock." Whatever it took to find
her new chapter was worth it. "Money is not going
to protect you from living a lie," she says. "I look at people
who are at home in the universe and content with themselves. Very little
has anything to do with how much money they make." The ministry draws
together the threads of her life. She grew up in a family where religion
was entwined with social activism. At age 6, she was taken to the National
Cathedral. "I fell in love with the place," she says. After
college, she joined the As an adult she followed a
traditional track, with marriage and children. But those years brought
terrible losses. One baby, born prematurely, died after three hours. A
second infant, born with a heart problem, died at three months. After a
miscarriage, Wright went on to give birth to a daughter and a son, who are
now grown. Then in the mid-1990s, her
marriage broke up. "My life totally fell apart," she says. She
was nearly 50 at the time of the divorce. Her children were still in
school. She didn't have a regular job. The house cost too much. "I started praying in
a way I never prayed before," she says. She found a job, rented out
rooms. "Somehow I made it through." In time, she went on to a
higher-paying job, and the children grew up. Still, she was restless.
Her path to the ministry was arduous. (As she says: "The process of
opening one's heart and mind to a call from God is a discombobulating time
in life.") At first, she became a part-time student at Wesley
Theological Seminary in the District while she continued in her job. Then
in 2002, she cut her ties to She looks around and sees
"an awful lot of people who are very comfortable," she says.
"They don't have to worry about money the way I have to." She
had thought that when she reached this age, she would live in a nice house
and go on nice vacations. That was before life's jolts. "I wish it had been
easier. But it hasn't been," she says. Yet she sees challenge in
loss, renewal in grief. "It's only when we're vulnerable that we
allow people to get close to us. . . . There are opportunities for
redemption when things go wrong." Money has a low priority
for Wright. "You think about the people who made a difference in your
life. Whose love, integrity and values are transparent. They are not
compromised by money or a need to impress people." She pauses and adds:
"People are too focused on other people's approval. That's what money
is getting at. They are living somebody else's life, not their own." Pastor Wright is living her own life. She has found her calling, and that is more than enough. Copyright © 2004
Global Action on Aging |
