May 12, 2008

Many aging baby boomers are about to find out some of what gay people have been dealing with for the past few decades.Aging is too often about isolation; families and friends die, often taking a person's social networks with them. 
John Genke, Ty Martin and Emily Vargas, social worker, Harlem program manager and social worker, respectively, for SAGE, Services & Advocacy for Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian and Transgender Elders, said isolation is something gay New Yorkers have been dealing with for years, stoked by twin scourges of homophobia and the AIDS epidemic. 

"We started mourning the loss of peers 30 years ago," said Martin, 60. "Now other people outside of the community are starting to bury their parents and deal with that aspect of life." 

Even after the Stonewall riots and ACT-UP, New York can still be a lonely place for the gay elderly, many of whom have not told family and friends about their sexual preferences, said Genke, 67. 

"You have to look at the history," he said. "Many of these people grew up before Stonewall, when gay people were harassed and prosecuted as criminals. Even though it's better now, that atmosphere still lingers." 
Vargas said one client asked her to cut the "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered" portion off the business card Vargas gave her for fear that the woman's neighbors might see it and wonder. 

"More people in the LGBT community live alone than in the straight community, because many of them never married, so they have no children," Genke said. "So many of them have no family to support them as they get older. And many, whether to HIV or not, have lost a network of friends." 
SAGE is marking its 30th anniversary on May 22 with a combination birthday party and senior health fair at the LGBT Community Center, 208 W. 13th St. 
The group continues to offer a vast program of activities intended to help elderly members thrive, from computer instruction, exercise classes to bereavement counseling, Scrabble and bridge tournaments and Alzheimer's support groups. 

SAGE's Harlem office sponsors "Fabulous Fridays," a get-together held the first and third weeks of every month. 

"Outside of the Mormon Church, we're the second-best-kept secret in Harlem," Martin said. "Many of my peers feel isolated, not just at home, but also in the community. That's why we have Fabulous Friday, where people can stop by, fellowship and network." 

In October, SAGE will present its fourth National Conference on LGBT Aging. Sponsored by the American Association of Retired Persons, it is scheduled for Oct. 12 to Oct. 14 at the Brooklyn Marriott Hotel.