April 29, 2008

Australia

For many people, growing old is a difficult process. But a forum in Sydney last night heard it is particularly hard for members of the gay and lesbian community.

The AIDS Council of New South Wales says older gays and lesbians are probably the most invisible and least cared for of all senior groups, suffering discrimination on many fronts.

High Court judge Justice Michael Kirby told the forum that churches need to be more accepting of the gay and lesbian community and must make church-run retirement homes more gay-friendly.

As a drag queen working the stages of Kings Cross in the 1960s, 'Carmen' was best known for her stilettos and elaborate costumes. 

But now, approaching 80, she is accepting the ageing process.

After a recent hip replacement, she donated all of her high heels to charity and now wears what she calls "sensible shoes".

"I'm on my way to 80 years and I've had an up and down, bad and sad life, but I'm not going to be moaning and whineing, because I'm still alive. I'm still here, just keep moving on," she said.

The transsexual icon was among a panel of gay and lesbian leaders who took part in the forum, called Ageing Disgracefully, last night.

Ill-equipped services

Carmen says she keeps active by being involved in the community, but for many people she says growing old can be lonely.

"We should have a place for people like us who are getting on and need some help, because I know there's a lot of people around who are living in dungeon-like little rooms and battling and struggling and they're just too proud and too embarrassed to ask for help," she said.

The forum heard aged care services are generally ill-equipped to meet the needs of older gays and lesbians.

Ghassan Kassisieh, from the Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby, says for the first time in Australian society, there is a huge generation of people that have been living out and openly about their sexuality.

"[They] may now be going into nursing homes, or into other aged care facilities, and realising that their sexuality hasn't been accommodated or understood when they come to those services," he said.

John, 58, is a member of a support group in Sydney called MAG, or Mature Age Gays, and says he would like to see more gay-friendly retirement homes and the removal of discriminatory measures in taxation and superannuation.

"The relationship has to have been going four years before it is recognised, whereas if I was heterosexual, I could get married and take the marriage certificate into the super fund and there'd be recognition and the benefits should anything happen to me, right away," he said.

Same-sex rights

It is a similar story for Justice Kirby.

He told the forum that he and his long-time partner are not entitled to the same rights as heterosexual couples.

"If I were to die, he would get nothing - although he's been with me for 39 years - whereas if he were a wife or husband or if he were a de-facto partner, he would have a full judicial pension, which is not small biccies," he said.

A committed Christian, Justice Kirby urged the churches to be more accepting of same-sex couples.

"It may not necessarily be appropriately dealt with by law," he said.
"It may require changes within the churches themselves, and that's why people of spirituality have to reach out, who are gay, have to reach out to the churches and try to open a dialogue about this thing.

"Something that has lasted for hundreds and hundreds of years isn't going to change overnight, but it won't change unless people stand up and who can persuade and cajole and put their point of view and basically get to be known."