Give Them Shelters:
As many as 10 per cent of seniors will be emotionally, physically or financially abused by a family member. As our population ages, cities are struggling to find secure housing. Hayley Mick reports 

By Hayley Mickey, The Globe and Mail

Canada

July 29, 2008

For two decades, Ruth said yes to her adult daughter. Yes to all the loans, yes to her moving in. But it was a piece of chilling advice that compelled Ruth to finally say no more.

Pack an overnight bag and hide it, a counsellor said. Include $15 so you can flee in a taxi if your daughter becomes violent. 

"That certainly shot through me," says Ruth, who lives in Toronto and did not want her identity published. She knew the abuse was escalating. Her savings were depleted; neighbours could hear yelling through the apartment walls.
But where could she go?

At the time, there were no shelters in Canada for people like Ruth - those 60 or older experiencing physical, emotional or financial abuse, most often by a spouse, adult child or grandchild.

Almost a decade later, Toronto is getting its first safe haven for abused seniors. The pilot project, which opens in September at a secret location, is modelled after a successful program that began in Calgary in 1999 (the first in North America) and is slowly spreading to other cities, including Edmonton, Surrey, B.C., and Winnipeg. In Toronto, a senior will be able to live in a private apartment for up to 60 days while they receive counselling and support.

It's a service experts say will be more in demand as our population ages. Canadian researchers estimate 4 to 10 per cent of seniors will experience some form of physical, emotional or financial abuse.

The group has unique needs, experts say. They don't belong in women's shelters where privacy is scarce and women with children take priority.

"If you're an 85-year-old woman who's been experiencing abuse, you're actually looking for peace and quiet - not a really rambunctious house," says Charmaine Spencer, a gerontologist who studies elder abuse at Simon Fraser University. 

"The other thing [about traditional shelters] is that they're only for older women. Abuse that happens later in life happens to older guys as well."

Yet, most cities still don't have seniors shelters, and the ones that do can't accommodate those with major health or security needs. There is also such a paucity of awareness about elder abuse that in October the federal government is launching a national publicity campaign to educate the public and care providers about the extent of the problem and the services available.

"People said to me, 'I would never have known,' " says Ruth, now 80, whose abuse stopped after her daughter was escorted from her Toronto home by a police officer. "I was very defensive. You're defensive about your young." 

Bernice Sewell knows well the cycle of abuse. For 11 years, she managed a large women's shelter in Edmonton. Always, the victims were women and children. Their abusers were always men.

Then in 2000, Ms. Sewell was asked to head up a pilot project targeting elder abuse. After consultations with police and community groups, as well as organizers of the Calgary shelter for seniors that opened a year earlier, the city opened two private apartments where seniors could stay while they received other support services, such as counselling and help getting permanent seniors' housing.

Ms. Sewell's first client was an 85-year-old man who had been hospitalized after his wife, 20 years his junior, smashed him over the head.

"I'm not proud of what I thought," she says of her initial reaction. "I immediately thought to myself, 'He probably wasn't good to her when they were younger. Now he's old and she's getting back at him.' I blamed him."

It turned out that the wife had been dominant throughout their relationship, and her rage had finally turned violent.

The program has since expanded to seven apartment units. Ms. Sewell has realized that while abuse is about power and control at any age, the dynamics are different for seniors.

About 30 per cent of the people in the apartment suites provided by the Seniors Association of Greater Edmonton are men, Ms. Sewell said. Couples also make up a small fraction of their clients, who range in age from 55 to 95. As well, approximately 70 per cent of the abusers are adult children or grandchildren. About 30 per cent are spouses of either sex.

While seniors can experience physical violence, that's reported less often than for younger groups, Ms. Spencer says. More often, the abuse is emotional, financial or both. 

Some Canadian cities are using different approaches to help elders in distress.
Calgary's shelter now houses up to 14 seniors at a time. 

In B.C., a pilot project developed by the B.C./Yukon Society of Transition Houses allows older women to seek emergency shelter in private homes in four different sites, and in Surrey, abused women 55 and older can find shelter in a transition house.

In Toronto, Pat's Place will open in September. It's only one apartment suite, and seniors who have major security needs or who can't live independently don't qualify. If it's a success, the program could expand, says Lisa Manuel, manager of seniors and caregivers support services at Family Service Toronto.

For researchers such as Elizabeth Podnieks, a professor emeritus at Ryerson University who has studied elder abuse for 20 years, the effort is laughably small for a city as large as Toronto. "But it's a start," she says. 

She would like to see more creative endeavours, such as hotels offering up a couple rooms free of charge.

Ruth was lucky. She had support from a doctor and a close cousin (a police officer), who helped her get away. Her daughter was ordered to have no contact with her mother for six months, and that space gave Ruth the time she needed to get her life back on track.

Her daughter still calls sometimes. Mostly it's fine, but sometimes Ruth silently repeats a mantra she learned in counselling: "I have the right to say no. I have the right to not feel guilty."

"I accept where I am now," she said recently, before dashing off to a bridge game. "It's not where I was. I can't do the things I used to do or spend the money I used to [spend]. But I've kind of accepted that. 

"I think that now that I have less, I realize how fortunate I am." 

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