For The Elderly, A Less Lonely Time 

By Lin Yanqin and Alicia Wong, MediaCorp Press

February 6, 2008

Singapore

In a roomful of people tucking into the traditional Chinese New Year dish of yu sheng, an elderly woman leans over to a girl and whispers into her ear. The girl giggles. 

It's the perfect picture of inter-generational bonding, except that the two are not family — of the traditional sort, anyway — and the girl is one of the 90 Paya Lebar Methodist Girls School (Primary) (PLMGS) students hosting a reunion dinner for the elderly together with the Touch Seniors Activity Centre. 

A festive season that is all about kin and friends can be an especially depressing time for one group of Singaporeans — the bedridden, the estranged, the abandoned, the lonely — but for the efforts of a larger Singapore family. 

For such people, many of them in their twilight years, activities organised by welfare groups during the Chinese New Year period have become an annual highlight, a chance at companionship and sharing, if just for a few hours. 

"They were very excited about the dinner," said centre director Julia Lam of the 90 senior citizens, residents of the Geylang Bahru area. "It's good that they are not just with us centre volunteers … it makes them feel less isolated. Some of them who live alone, they go into depression around this time of year." 

At the dinner held last Friday, Madam Chew Ah Yim, 68, who lives alone and is childless, told Today: "It's like having grandchildren to talk to." 

One student came up and introduced her brother to her. "It's better like this, to spend time with these people and my friends," Mdm Chew said afterwards, and fighting back tears, added: "They are better than my own family." 

For Mr Sum Kin Nar, 69, this was also his only Chinese New Year dinner. Single and living alone, he will spend the next few days at his usual routine — eating at a hawker centre, perhaps chatting with friends he bumps into. 

"I'm used to being alone and independent," he said, matter-of-fact, though he admitted to enjoying the activities organised by Touch Community Services. 

At Mr Paul Chung's home, the only festive decoration was the lantern the PLMGS students had given him. He used to celebrate the season with his foster parents until they died 20 years ago. 

"Now, Chinese New Year is just another ordinary day and I don't like it because it means spending more money," said the 74-year-old. 

At the AWWA Community Home for Senior Citizens — which provides shelter for the destitute elderly — reunion dinners are held for residents every year, usually sponsored by donors. 

"I like the dinner and the people who visit us. It makes everyone happy," said Mdm Lee Chwee Sian of last Wednesday's 10-course feast. Still, what she most looks forward to is a visit from her two grandsons, for whom she will whip up a special meal, as she has done for the past few years. 

The spread of prawns, fried chicken wings and soup is expensive for the 74-year-old who lives on a Public Assistance allowance of $220 a month. "But it's only once a year," she said. 

Her daughter, however, will not be visiting. "I can't talk about her, it breaks my heart," said Mdm Lee, tears welling up in her eyes. 

Of the community home's 133 residents, only a few have family bringing them home for the Chinese New Year. Said its manager P Vijayah: "The rest organise their own dinners and look forward to visits from the public who bring food and hong baos every year." 

At The Salvation Army's Peacehaven Nursing Home, one in 10 of the 353 residents will be returning home for two days or so — a relatively "good" figure, said assistant executive director Low Mui Lang. One 77-year-old lady excitedly described how her family would take her to a restaurant. 

The others, less lucky, can still look forward to the oranges and cookies handed out by the home, and visits from the public. Over the past week, too, the home organised steamboat lunches, and made cards, lanterns and flowers. 

When Today dropped by on Monday, the atmosphere was quiet, but the camaraderie evident, as residents joked about new haircuts and laughed over the pineapple tarts they were baking. 

When one elderly lady sat alone instead of joining in the lo hei, her friend offered to get her food and sat down with her. 

While some of these seniors may not be going home for Chinese New Year, they will still be celebrating with family of another kind. 

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