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Professor hopes to help caregivers of aging parents
When you consider
whether your ailing father should move into a nursing home -- or your
spare bedroom -- you may be filled with sadness about his declining
health, worried about your potential loss of privacy and newly focused on
your own sense of mortality. But Celia Hayhoe, who
at one point a few years ago found herself caring for three aging
relatives as well as her young family, hopes you are thinking about
something else as well: money. Hayhoe, an assistant
professor in the Department of Family Studies at the University of
Kentucky, recently obtained a grant of more than $100,000 to help
caregivers consider the financial ramifications of that role and to better
discuss the issue with other potential caregivers, often their brothers
and sisters. "A lot of times,
siblings don't talk about it," Hayhoe said. She said she will use the
money from the National Endowment for Financial Education to develop an
educational program that will include a discussion of how to broach
difficult topics. "Half the time,
that's half the issue, just getting started," she said. The financial
ramifications can be many, Hayhoe said. Caregiving responsibilities often
prompt workers to quit their jobs or to step down from a supervisory role
into a more flexible but lower paying job, she said. The immediate effect
is obvious, but there also are longer-term concerns about how they will
hurt the caregivers' ability to enjoy their golden years, she said. "I know it's
been an issue for a long time," said Hayhoe, who is also a certified
financial planner who specializes in family-related financial issues such
as teaching children about money. But while caregivers may find a lot of
financial advice for the patients they're helping, little is readily
available for the caregivers themselves, she said. Even if caregivers
are able to continue working as much as ever, Hayhoe said, it may be only
because they are spending a lot of money on in-home care, adult day care
or other care options, she said. Although there is no legal obligation for
children to help parents or grandparents, many people feel a moral
obligation -- no matter how strapped they are by other work and family
responsibilities, she said. Often the obligation
is not met equally by everyone in the family. "In a lot of families
there is one person, usually the daughter," who does it all, Hayhoe
said. She expects to take
11/2 years to develop the educational program, including a CD, a booklet
and a video. The method of distribution has yet to be determined, but
Hayhoe hopes that it will be widely available and free. She knows that one
part of it will include coaching people on how they talk to their siblings
about the financial implications without seeming accusatory. For example,
she said, rather than starting by saying: "You're not doing anything
for Mom," you start by talking about your feelings -- noting, for
example, that you're feeling uneasy about the sacrifices you've made. In many families, of
course, siblings may find themselves in radically different positions
financially, which will affect the level of help they can provide. Still, Hayhoe said,
she thinks "everybody has to do some kind of share." One person may be
able to contribute more financially. Another may be able to contribute
more time. Or a more distant relative can at least participate at key
moments, stepping in to care for the loved one for a week in the summer,
so that the regular caregiver can take a much-needed vacation. There may also be
creative ways that family members can ease the financial burden on the
caregiver -- including ways for siblings to chip in to enable the
caregiver to pay into an Individual Retirement Account, Hayhoe said. She
advised talking to a financial planner, CPA or other tax preparer about
IRA rules and tax implications. If such help is
possible, it may mean the caregiver can break a cycle. Though caregivers
may not feel like they are in a position to address the problem, Hayhoe
said, caring for an aging parent can make many people realize how
important it is to adequately save for their retirement. "Sometimes it's
a wake-up call when they see that they have to help their parents."
Copyright
© 2002 Global Action on Aging
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