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Gay, African-American, HIV
Positive and Growing Old, Man Says, ‘I Just
Chose To Live’
Long Yu, Medill
March 6, 2012
Art Taylor
leafs through a memory box of friends who died
of AIDS.
Art Taylor is 54. He has a
box full of his friends’ obituaries. They all died of
AIDS.
“None of these friends got where I got,” Taylor said.
“Almost 20 years later, I’m still alive.”
Being HIV positive, Taylor might be one of the few
survivors among his old friends, but as an
African-American gay man, he is not alone in the U.S.
In three years, half of all Americans living with HIV
will be 50 or older, according to a study by the
University of Washington’s School of Social Work. The
study, released in November, shows that about 15
percent of new infections and almost a third of those
currently living with HIV are age 50 and older.
Taylor was diagnosed HIV positive in the early 1990s.
Feeling devastated, he said he couldn’t tell anyone
about it.
“Back in those days, we had those words: You get the
package,” he said referring to the slang for HIV.
“I’ve heard people say ‘That bitch got the package.’ I
didn’t want to be that person, so I just shut up.”
Keeping a secret like that wasn’t easy, and four years
after his diagnosis, Taylor said he finally told a
friend he trusted would keep his secret.
One day another friend of his said, “I heard you had
the package.” That was when Taylor realized that his
friend had let the news out.
Taylor’s concern that people would judge him makes
sense.
Older LGBT people have lived through a time when
neither their sexual identity nor being HIV positive
was accepted, said Virginia Quinonez, associate
professor and chair of the Counseling Department at
The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. One
result, she said, is that older LGBT adults are often
silent about living with HIV.
Taylor came out to his family almost 10 years ago. He
said his partner at the time was a major reason.
Taylor told his partner about his disease on their
first date. After a few questions to make sure Taylor
was taking care of himself, his partner said: “OK, so
we got this over with. I’m not afraid of you anymore.”
Then they started dating, and they were together for
five years before, Taylor said, they “grew apart.”
One day his niece asked him, “Uncle, why is he
[Taylor’s partner] always here? Am I to call him
uncle?”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, then he is your
uncle,” Taylor said.
Then his other relatives started asking him why they
were not the first one to know.
“Everyone knew I was gay, but I feel like everybody at
this point needs a confirmation,” he said.
Taylor told some of his relatives about his disease,
but he kept it a secret from his sister until last
year.
“We’ve had enough drama and death in our family. There
are only the two of us now. I didn’t know how she
would take it. I was afraid she would be, like, ‘Damn,
I’m gonna lose my brother, too.’”
His sister took it very well, because some relatives
had already told her, so she had the time to process,
Taylor said. She was only mad that Taylor hadn’t told
her earlier, he said.
Taylor said he is grateful that his family took his
sexuality and disease very well. Not everyone is as
lucky as he is.
Those living with HIV are more likely to have
experienced physical abuse by a partner, friend or
family member than those who are HIV negative, the
study said.
According to the study, those with HIV are more likely
to have depression and anxiety, compared with those
who are HIV negative.
Quinonez said LGBT seniors of color may suffer more
isolation.
“In some communities of color, LGBT seniors may
experience more homophobia in addition to racism,” she
said.
Having support from family and friends is extremely
important for LGBT seniors with HIV, Quinonez said.
“Dealing with the disease by themselves is not
helpful,” she said. “It is very important for them to
reach out to organizations and supporting groups for
help.”
Taylor said he used to sit and cry, but he was never
depressed, because he just chose to live.
“I saw some friends die horrible. I refuse to be like
that,” he said.
Taylor said he has no regrets.
“[Having HIV] might be my saving grace. I’ve always
been wondering if it hadn’t been for HIV, what could
have happened to me? God saves you by blocking your
path sometimes. I tried to look at the bright side of
everything.”
Taylor said he believes everyone in life has a
purpose, and having a purpose makes him want to live
even more.
“The purpose of my life is to help,” he said.
Taylor has been following that purpose for years.
First it was to take care of his sick mother and
grandmother. After they died, Taylor started
volunteering at the Howard Brown Health Center, 4045
N. Sheridan Road. (See video)
Taylor said he wants to give back by volunteering
because he feels so blessed, and he wants to keep the
motivation in his life.
“Having that purpose in life is the best thing. It
gives me something to do. It keeps me alive.”
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