Taking a Comic Perspective




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Taking a Comic Perspective

By Abigail Trafford, the Washington Post

February 24, 2004

Carlton Stoiber, a government lawyer for 30 years, retired recently and turned to what he didn't have time to do before. He continues to consult in his field of nuclear law. But he's also climbing peaks over 14,000 feet and venturing into a new career as a cartoonist.

"I have never been so engaged and fulfilled in my entire life," says Stoiber. "With physical fitness still at reasonable levels -- knock wood! -- and the knowledge, experience and perspective of six decades, I am having a hell of a time. As they say: 'When you're over the hill, you accelerate!' "

In the process, the 61-year-old Washingtonian is smashing the ageist stereotypes that being over the hill ushers in a period of decline and discontent.

Americans over 65 today are happier than people of the same age were a quarter-century ago. According to studies by the National Council on the Aging, older Americans say they have fewer health problems and are less concerned about money, loneliness and crime than they were 25 years ago. More than 90 percent in a 2000 survey said they were happy and looked forward to more bonus years. About a third said: These are the best years of my life. African Americans and Hispanics were more likely than whites to report this level of contentment.

To be sure, not everyone flourishes in this period. Poverty, disability and social isolation stalk these decades, and older single women are particularly vulnerable. Depression can occur for the first time in late life, and it often goes unrecognized. The highest suicide rate, for example, is found in older white men.

Yet, the emergence of this new stage in the life cycle has transformed the normal trajectory of aging. For many people, these years are an opportunity to grow and contribute to society.

But fulfillment doesn't just happen; courage and the willingness to take risks are essential. "You have to be not too cautious," says Stoiber. You want to "explore new kinds of experiences that may not turn out to be fruitful or rewarding. If you follow an overly predictable lifestyle, you'll never test your own limits."

Height of Adventure

For Stoiber, mountaineering is one example of his decision to do some risk-taking after taking early retirement. In the past five years, he has climbed Aconcagua in Argentina and Pico de Orizaba in Mexico . He is well on his way to scaling all the peaks over 14,000 feet in Colorado , where he grew up.

But it has not been all success and glory. He remembers the moment two years ago on Wilson Peak in Colorado . Roped to two other climbers, he was the first to begin the descent. He grabbed a handhold in a piece of granite. Suddenly the whole piece of rock came out of the ledge, and he started to fall toward a spot some 600 feet below. "My climbing colleagues . . . they caught me. I swung into a rock ledge." He broke four ribs in a plunge of about 15 feet. "That's an experience that concentrates the mind."

Two months later, he'd healed enough to go back to climbing mountains.

Testing your limits and surviving, wiser, builds up confidence, whether it's on a mountain or in an office. This is what My Timers have over young adults -- a lifetime of trial, error and survival. Researchers call this "life empowerment," a portfolio of psychological and social assets that people bring to their bonus decades.

Says Stoiber, "You know yourself. You know your capabilities. You don't have anxieties about failure. I've had enough successes in life. If I go somewhere and offer my services and they say, 'No, we don't like that' -- this is not going to be a damaging blow to my psyche."

Newfound Humility

In junior high, Stoiber created a comic strip in the school newspaper. Then he grew up and concentrated on the law, keeping his cartoon-drawing on the side.

Now he's turning his avocation into a profession. His work has been published in several journals and he was recently selected to be a member of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists.

"You see where you can make a contribution," he says. "What really rings your bells? What do you fundamentally enjoy?"

Meanwhile, he's become more tolerant. "I think I was pretty arrogant when I was in college. I was pretty full of myself," he explains. Part of emotional wisdom is learning humility and feeling empathy for other people.

"After the experiences I've had, I have a greater respect for unpredictability," he says -- unpredictability in the guise of a loose chunk of granite or the nuclear disaster at Chernobyl . And in the wake of Sept. 11, 2001 , he's working on nuclear security issues in ways that he'd never imagined.

He also has more respect for other people's judgments. "You have to listen to other people and be willing to change your mind if you become convinced that they got it right and you didn't."

Stoiber knows he is fortunate to have a government pension, along with good health and a creative mind. And he recognizes that another essential ingredient of emotional wisdom is connection to others.

It goes back to mountain climbing. The French have a term for the trust and camaraderie that are necessary on a difficult climb. It's called "affaire du corde" -- an affair of the rope. The rules are simple: If you fall and they don't catch you, you die; and vice versa.

Marriage, he explains is an affaire du corde, "where two people bind each other together in the most intimate and important relationships. You surely wouldn't embark on a difficult climb without someone on your rope whom you trust implicitly."

Stoiber is married to a woman he met in college. In a few weeks, they are about to go mountain trekking together. In July, he hopes to celebrate his 62nd birthday on the top of a 14,000-foot peak.